I know what it feels like to love your kids and still feel like you’re losing yourself.
I’m Deana and I’ve been exactly where you are. I I found a way through feeling less than joyful about being a mom — not by managing the symptoms of an overwhelmed life, but by rebuilding my strength and resilience from the inside out.
I wasn’t always the mom I wanted to be.
For years I lived in the gap between the mother I wanted to be and the one who showed up every day. I understood the theory of health — I was already deep in holistic health training. But I had completely missed what was happening inside my own body and my own home.
What follows is the real story — not the polished version. I share it because I think you’ll recognize parts of it, and I don’t want you to feel as alone in it as I did.
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There was a time when I felt like my body was not my own. I knew my body would change having kids, but I didn’t expect it to stay stuck there. Before I got pregnant, I was 117 pounds. I was vibrant, confident, and could easily shed extra pounds.
When I got pregnant with my first child, I was so clueless and a bit naïve. Back then, all I had as a reference was the book, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”, countless pieces of unsolicited advice, and old wives’ tales. There was no internet to google anything. When I let myself lean into the advice to “feed my cravings”, I thought I was doing something my body and baby needed.
Little did I know following that advice was setting me up to lose myself after giving birth. The late nights at Denny’s eating French toast and demanding Baklava daily for the last 6 months of my pregnancy had me weighing in at 190 pounds.
I had it in my mind that all the 73 pounds I gained would magically melt off after I gave birth. When that didn’t happen, it added a self-esteem issue to my postpartum depression.
It took me a year of starvation diets and exhausting workouts to bounce back to 130 pounds. I just couldn’t get back to 117 no matter how hard I tried. My body had changed and I wasn’t ready to go along with that phase in life. I was 22 and had to get back to looking like I did before the baby. That was the only thought that consumed my mind.
When I had my second and third baby, I was a bit smarter. I didn’t gain as much weight but still topped in at 175 pounds. By the time I was done with having kids, my weight stayed stuck. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get below 160 pounds. I was stuck in the loop of yo-yo dieting. I’d lose a few pounds and then gain them right back. I felt so unattractive. No matter how much my husband said otherwise, I felt ugly. And it bothered me. I was embarrassed that I no longer was what I once was. I started taking my feelings of anger, disappointment, and sadness out on everyone around me. I felt helpless and stuck in grieving the loss of that version of me. I didn’t realize a physical change would cost me so much more.
My body reacted like it was under attack.
I loved my kids, but I didn’t like the way I was reacting to them. Normal “kid” behavior felt completely intolerable to me. I’d snap over little things like fighting over toys and the constant mess everywhere. I felt overstimulated by the constant noise and chatter, the unending questions and demands.
It wasn’t bad behavior. My kids were just being kids. But the constant stimulation all day long took its toll on me. And my body started acting like it was under attack. My muscles were always tight. My nerves were shot. I had constant headaches from clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth at night. My slow digestion got even slower. Now I had acne…something I rarely had, even as a teenager.
To make matters worse…
Somewhere in the middle of all the laundry, meals, and constant “mom,” I caught myself thinking something I hated admitting –
I gave up my life for this.
The thought would slip in before I could stop it, and the guilt followed right behind it.
My husband wasn’t the villain in this story. He worked hard and provided for our family, and I’m grateful for that because it gave me the freedom to stay home with my kids. But he didn’t carry the emotional weight I felt every hour of the day. And somewhere along the way, I stopped recognizing myself.
The wake-up call
During this time, I started searching for answers to life’s deeper meaning and looking for ways to find myself again. I was so unhappy and felt lost. In this path of spirituality, I started taking an interest in what it meant to love myself and honor my body. I enrolled in a holistic health program to learn how to heal myself.
As part of my coursework, I went to my doctor with a request of labs to be run. I was expecting to see that I was a picture of health. After all, I was still young.
Then my lab work came back.
Pre-diabetes. High cholesterol. Overweight. Non-alcoholic fatty liver… to name a few. I was stunned. In my mind, those were the kinds of health problems that showed up much later in life. What humbled me most was this: I was already studying nutrition and wellness and beginning my transition into holistic health coaching. I understood the theory. But I had missed what was happening inside my own body. The years of neglect and unending stress I experienced as a mom took its toll on my body.
In the consultation that followed, my doctor never asked me about my daily life, diet, or stress. She jumped right to medication and a diabetic diet.
I had a choice. Medicate and manage the numbers — or I could figure out what was actually happening in my body and heal the root cause.
The turning point
From my training, I was aware of metabolic syndrome. My doctor told me I had pre -diabetes but said nothing about metabolic syndrome. I had many of the indicators of metabolic syndrome- extra belly fat, high blood sugar, high triglycerides, and low “good” cholesterol (HDL).
Both pre-diabetes and metabolic syndrome start with a subtle change in metabolism, like mild inflammation or hormone imbalances that can progress if not addressed. I had both inflammation and hormone imbalances and was concerned about what could be down the road for me if I didn’t fix this now. I didn’t want to be that mom that sat on the sidelines of life, shying away from being involved in PTA or cheering in the stands because I was embarrassed about my weight or too tired to participate.
So, I put my holistic health training to work for me. Instead of just managing symptoms, I started rebuilding my health from the inside out — starting with addressing the metabolic syndrome I acquired.
I worked at improving my nutrition, regulating my nervous system, strengthening my body, and addressing the stress I had been living under for years. That meant whole foods. Strength training. Less alcohol. Cleaner products. Consistent spiritual practices. Better sleep.
My body was stubborn for the first few months. It didn’t want to give up its extra pounds, but I kept going because I noticed other improvements.
I had more energy, the bloating was gone, and I was sleeping through the night.
Healing my metabolism gave me physical relief, but quieting the constant mental noise required a different kind of daily practice.
That is when I turned inward…
Meditation was where something deeper changed. For the first time in years, my mind began to get quiet. That mental clarity gave me the capacity to keep going — to keep making the changes my body needed. It became the foundation on which everything else was built.
As my nervous system began to regulate, everything started to change — not just inside me, but inside my home.
Yes, my labs improved. Yes, my energy came back, and I lost weight. But the real shift happened in the small, everyday moments. One evening, my kids were laughing in the other room, and I wasn’t bracing myself for my next nervous-system meltdown. I was calm and centered. And one day it hit me — things were actually different.
The energy of our home had changed.
My kids were more cooperative. They seemed less bratty and demanding. The house was more peaceful. Not because I forced my kids to behave differently — because I had changed. And they reflected it back to me.
The version of me that enjoyed motherhood wasn’t gone.
She had just been buried under years of depletion I had never been taught to address.
The realization
Looking back now, it makes sense. I wasn’t a bad mom. I did the best I could at the time with the resources I had. I was operating in survival mode. My body had been living under constant stress for years, and eventually it started
showing up everywhere — in my energy, my physical health, my patience, and the way I reacted to the people I loved most. And no amount of discipline or mindset work alone would change that.
I understood that I needed to keep learning and finding ways to improve my health and well-being. This led me to enroll in The Institute of Nutritional Endocrinology. Not to build a practice. I enrolled to keep healing myself, to
finally understand my own hormones, my own metabolism, my own nervous system.
Then I became a grandmother, and I watched my daughter struggling with the same issues I did. What I started out learning for myself shifted. It ignited a fire in me to help moms get the support and healing they need before they lose themselves in motherhood. Before stress becomes illness. Before extra weight becomes a lifelong battle.
Helping moms understand the root causes of their hormones, weight gain, and physical, mental, and emotional overwhelm, and guiding them back to a healthier, calmer way of living, is the work I was meant to do. For more than 20 years, I’ve worked in holistic health, supporting hundreds of clients to find their way back to wholeness. I just had to live it first to truly know it.
Your body has been trying to tell you something…
Stubborn Weight & bloat that won’t respond to traditional diets & exercise
You love your kids but dread the day
You’re exhausted in a way sleep doesn’t fix
Your body is sending SOS signals like erratic blood sugar Crashes, stubborn belly fat, & a metabolism that feels locked in survival mode
You feel invisible in your own life while carrying the weight of everything and everyone else’s needs
deep hormonal chaos – from crashing progesterone & fluctuating estrogen to a thyroid & metabolism running on fumes- making you feel like a stranger in your own skin.
You Deserve More Than Just Getting Through Your Day
Let’s find out if we’re a good fit.
A discovery call is how we figure out if we’re a good fit for each other.
You’ll be talking to me, not a team.
There’s no pressure and no pitch. Just an honest conversation about where you are, what your body has been doing, and whether this work is right for you right now.
1
Book Your Call
Pick a time that works around your life. You’ll answer a few short questions first so I know where you’re starting from.
2
We talk
Tell me what’s been going on with your weight, your energy, and how you’ve been feeling in your body. I’ll tell you what I’m seeing and what I’d do about it.
3
We decide together
We’ll both know by the end of our conversation if this is the right next step.